


In Which Johnny Learns That Uteruses Suck

by TheNightingaleLily



Series: Johnny/Female V One Shots [7]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:07:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28927809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNightingaleLily/pseuds/TheNightingaleLily
Summary: One thing Johnny Silverhand was probably not expecting in the afterlife was period cramps. Surprise!Tumblr prompt fill for noctrl22
Relationships: Johnny & Female V, Johnny & V, Johnny Silverhand & Female V, Johnny Silverhand & V, Johnny Silverhand/Female V
Series: Johnny/Female V One Shots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121597
Comments: 9
Kudos: 105





	In Which Johnny Learns That Uteruses Suck

**Author's Note:**

> tw: severe menstrual cramps, endometriosis, brief mention of infertility

An unseen attacker. Behind her. V looked down to see two blades emerging from her stomach. Not...her stomach, a man’s. But the pain, the pain was hers, she could feel it.

“V? V!” shouted a voice from...somewhere. Her head. In her head.

“Johnny, wha…” 

The glitching form of her new brain companion was leaning over the side of her bed, looking at her. “You were...whimpering in your sleep. The Relic?”

Relic? No, that was—suddenly remembering her dream, V lifted the covers, expecting to see two blades running through her. No, no blades, but the stabbing _pain_ sure as hell was there.

Ah.

“No, it’s my uterus,” she groaned.

“Wh— _oh,”_ Johnny said, comprehension hitting him. “Right...woman’s body...gotta admit, I was wondering when that would...happen.”

“By the way, you might wanna prepare for— 

“Oh fuck.” Johnny’s eyes went wide as, presumably, the delayed sensation hit him. “What the _fuck._ Feels like I got stabbed, what th—” He half stumbled, half fell over to the foot of the bed and sat, clutching his stomach.

“Yup.” 

He looked at her, bewildered. “This is _normal?”_

“Yup. Is for me, at least.”

“V. Is this gonna be my life now?” he asked. He looked just about _terrified._

And V found it _hilarious._ “For as long as you’re in my head, you bet. Nice payback for slowly killing me, I’d say.”

Johnny lay back on the bed with a heavy sigh. “Well, aren’t you gonna fuckin do something about it? Go chug some tequila.”

“Makes it worse.”

“Cigarette.”

“Makes it worse.”

_“Painkillers.”_

“Ha! The non-addicting shit is impossible to find, and I’m not about to spark a drug addiction just cause a rockerboy can’t handle a little pain.”

“A _little?_ I feel like I’m dying.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

“Mean to say _you’ve_ gotten used to it?”

V stared at the ceiling. She tried not to focus on the throbbing in her abdomen. She wasn’t about to admit it to Johnny, but the company, the conversation, helped a little. “Don’t really have a choice, not much else I can do. Vik sometimes gives me some anaesthesia on the worst days but he doesn’t open till 10.”

Johnny groaned. “Has it always been this bad?” he asked. Was that _concern_ V detected?

“Mhm. Endometriosis. It’s a—”

“Yeah. Had an ex with that. Made her infertile and she was delighted, she could have all the unprotected sex she wanted. She refused to use condoms so I dumped her.” Johnny let out a chuckle. “Turned out the doctors were wrong, the guy she fucked around with after me got her pregnant.” 

She knew she shouldn’t, but V let out a laugh. The movement causing a minor jolt of pain that she largely ignored. “Smart head you got there, rockerboy.”

“The last thing I needed was a kid I’d have to cart around on tour.”

“Johnny, I don’t think you’re suppo— _fuuuuu…”_ V curled in on herself as a spasm of pain surged through her abdomen and somehow ended up in her feet. “Nnnnn...get ready for that one.”

“Great,” Johnny said dryly. “Can’t you call Vik? Or the...girl with the hair?”

V sighed. “Do you want me to take a blocker? Or are you gonna stop whining?”

“I meant for _you,_ V. You shouldn’t have to grit your teeth and bear this bullshit.”

“Oh…” It _was_ concern. “Holy shit, does Johnny Silverhand have a heart after all? I’m touched. But I don’t want to wake him up, I’m fine waiting.”

 _“No,_ you— _shit shit shit shit shit SHIT_ what is it doing in your feet?? Do you have a whole”—Johnny gestured vaguely in V’s direction—” _thing_ there too? Jesus.” He sat up with a groan and looked her in the eye. “V, call Vik now, before you have to deal with another one of _those.”_ He didn’t hold eye contact for long, and flopped back down across V’s feet. “And so _I_ don’t have to deal with it. There, see, Johnny Silverhand is still a selfish bastard after all.”

“Fine,” V sighed, and reached for her phone. “But only so you’ll stop _bugging me.”_

Naturally, she couldn’t tell him she really was grateful for the concern. For the distraction. For his company.

That would never happen.


End file.
